My apologies to you all

I know I've been very quiet of late. And I do feel bad for this.

Please understand its been a very difficult time in my life right now. Things weren't going that great before and since Easter, it really has fallen apart. I have been trying to figure out what the next steps are in this process. I'm tired of having other people ruin my life and NO ONE wants to admit they screwed up.

I have learned things in the past two weeks that make my head spin and my heart hurt. I have learned things that make me enraged and disgusted in what my "life" is.

It's difficult to write fluffy stories about your kids when you heart hurts and you are trying to think how they can have a relationship with people when you really don't want to anymore.

I am at the point my friends call and text me on a regular basis to make sure I haven't snapped completly.

We had a family party yesterday and I had an escape plan. I NEVER have had to do that as of pre-Easter. Even with the in-laws I held my anger and upset from them and stayed so my kids could have the time with the family. I let it out as soon as we got in the car, but I was trying to be polite to hold this together.

I'm past done holding things together.

I can't go into full details as of now and please understand when I can, I will.

I will try my best to write what I can, but if I'm quieter than normal, this will all be explained one day.